by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish
illustrated by Kimberly Ann Coe
originally published by HarperCollins
Indonesian version published by Buah Hati
Paperback
ISBN: 9789791749817
This book had been in book shelves for years until one day Mom found it. At that time, Mom had became so restless and confused by S' emotions for months. The sweetest little boy who's so caring and full of forgiveness had changed to a sensitive boy with emotion management issue.
He didn't want to write at school and expressed his frustration of being verbally bullied by screaming and yelling at school.
When he was younger, he was often being a victim of physical bullied. It was "often" but he kept approaching the kids with his full of forgiveness spirit. He rejected Mom stupid advise, said that violence was unacceptable. But, he cried a lot until he decided to pick which kid should be forgiven and which one should be not.
So, when the issue reappeared and he couldn't take it easy anymore being called "Baby", "(literally) Baby Face", "White Face", "Foreigner". And Mom didn't embrace his feelings but kept saying that he needs to be cool. He started to rebel (Mom can't understand him) and Mom started talking a lot (He doesn't want to listen to Mom). And the bonding (made by breastfeeding for 3 years, bed sharing for 6 years, laughing, giggling, hugging, almost together for all time, etc) were shaken.
Fortunately, this book teaches Mom how to listen to him with less advises and less questions. It tells Mom how to give him informations as well as opportunities to decide what is better for him. And how to think before answering a question. It can also be used to talk to an adult.
Be patient, maybe it's not an instant permanent result. Mom and S are still in process, too. We are so attached to each other that it become confusing why we don't understand each other as much as before.
We learn how to spend time apart sometime. So S won't feel guilty if he likes playing soccer more than accompanying his mom. And we will love and listen to each other more.
*
Buku ini sudah ada di rak buku selama bertahun-tahun sampai suatu hari Mama menemukannya. Pada saat itu, Mama menjadi sangat gelisah dan bingung oleh emosi Sabio selama berbulan-bulan. Bocah kecil yang paling manis yang begitu perhatian dan penuh maaf telah berubah menjadi anak yang sensitif dengan masalah manajemen emosi.
Dia tidak ingin menulis di sekolah dan mengungkapkan rasa frustrasinya karena diganggu secara verbal dengan berteriak dan berteriak di sekolah.
Ketika dia masih muda, dia sering menjadi korban bully secara fisik. Itu "sering" tetapi dia terus mendekati anak-anak itu dengan semangat dan penuh pemaafan. Dia menolak saran ngawur Mama, menjawab bahwa kekerasan itu tidak bisa diterima. Tapi, dia sering menangis sampai dia memutuskan untuk memilih anak mana yang harus dimaafkan dan mana yang tidak.
Jadi, ketika masalah muncul kembali dan dia tidak bisa tenang lagi disebut "Bayi", "Muka Bayi", "Muka Putih", "Orang Asing". Dan Mama tidak berusaha lebih memahami perasaannya, tetapi terus mengatakan bahwa dia harus belajar cuek. Dia mulai memberontak (Mama tidak bisa memahaminya) dan Mama mulai banyak bicara (Sabio tidak mau mendengarkan Mama). Dan bonding (dibuat dengan menyusui selama 3 tahun, berbagi tempat tidur selama 6 tahun, tertawa, cekikikan, memeluk, hampir bersama sepanjang waktu, dll) mulai tergoyahkan.
Untungnya, buku ini mengajarkan Mama cara mendengarkannya dengan lebih sedikit nasihat dan lebih sedikit pertanyaan. Juga, memberi tahu Mama cara memberi Sabio informasi serta peluang untuk memutuskan sendiri apa yang lebih baik baginya. Dan bagaimana cara agar Mama berpikir sebelum menjawab suatu pertanyaan. Ini juga dapat digunakan untuk berbicara dengan orang dewasa.
Bersabarlah, mungkin itu bukan hasil permanen yang instan. Mama dan Sabio juga masih dalam proses. Kami begitu dekat satu sama lain sehingga menjadi membingungkan mengapa kami tidak saling memahami seperti sebelumnya.
Kami belajar bagaimana menghabiskan waktu terpisah sekali-sekali. Jadi Sabio tidak akan merasa bersalah jika dia lebih suka bermain sepak bola daripada menemani mamanya. Sehingga kami akan lebih saling mencintai dan saling mendengarkan.
Info: Mom totally forget when, where, and how she could get this book for the first time. It re-appears at the right place and the right time.
Originally reviewed on August 27, 2018
Enjoy your weekend!,
Sabio & his Mom
Originally reviewed on August 27, 2018
Enjoy your weekend!,
Sabio & his Mom
Disclaimer:
All books and photos belong to Sabioandmom, unless stated otherwise.







No comments:
Post a Comment